Close your eyes and imagine you are a world-renown boxing athlete, energetically pacing to the ring. You can smell the excitement in the air, your theme song is playing bombastically in the arena, you can feel the warmth of the stadium lights and hear your greatest fans cheering you on. You are a champion in your lane, and because of this, you have the ability to turn the fear of the fight into a respectful ballet of forces.
Open your eyes now: I get it, you might have to go back to read the last paragraph 😉
So, you might be thinking right now, how does this apply to me, I am not a boxer? I have never fought in a ring and I definitely don’t like to be knocked down.
What if we told you, any emotional conversations are truly a ballet of forces, and the way we deal with them either create continued battles built with assumptions, fear, insecurities, lost time, etc. …… or when MASTERED, we become supreme athletes in our relationships.
To be clear …. YES! - The Rocky Soundtrack is playing as this is written …… smiles*
Controlling Our Emotions while Rolling with Punches
When we enter into an emotional discussion, it can come with many things. For Example:
4. Past Experiences
5. Opinions & Assumptions
How we prepare for the interaction, will define who we are and how the conversation will end.
Please be honest with yourself in all these areas – this is a self-check for you.
If at any point, you can say that the importance of your ego, pride, being right is more important than solving the problem – we need to work together to develop your “emo–dance” or others will feel like your prey.
Similarly, if at any point you are transferring past experiences/ opinions/ assumptions from an entirely separate person or conversation – we need to shuffle backwards a bit and remember this is a different person/ conversation – don’t let others take the emotional blow for what others have said or done.
The Bell Tolls, The Shift, and The Honour
Okay, the elephant in the “RING” – why all the boxing references? – “The Rope-a-Dope Method” is the reason.
Muhamad Ali used this method throughout his boxing career. He designed a technique, art of taking the blows, hits and intense shots from his opponents – he rested back a little on the ropes, had internal fortitude, let his respected fighter exhaust themselves and then he could have his physical conversation to come out on the top.
Another self-check, in emotional conversations, if you are more concerned with your feelings being hurt rather than truly asking questions about the other person’s views and understanding their feelings – consider some “rope-a-doping”.
The Final Countdown
Your Winning Solution - Take it in, listen, offer your heart thoughts, a little soul, future-forward solutions, a splash of vulnerability, and expectations of your relationship to become a respected champion and teach others the art of rolling with the punches.